A lot has happened in the last month to show me how precious and short life really is. . .
A young girl in our church (12 years old) was serving in our Children's Ministry one Sunday evening about a month ago. She started to get a headache, so she went home a little early and within an hour, she began vomitting and lost consciousness. After rushing her to the hospital and running some tests, it was realized that she had a tumor on her brain. This particular tumor is only found in girls starting puberty. Apparently it is hormone induced and it has to do with the pituitary gland (I think). This beautiful, vibrant young lady has spent the last month in Texas Children's Hospital and hasn't fully regained consiousness yet. She has fought infection, fever, sodium imbalances, and high heart rates. Currently she is stabilized and began her chemotherapy treatments 3 days ago. Not only has this affected her, but her family! Her parent's world stopped that night and it hasn't been the same since!
Also this month, I got word from my brother that a friend of ours had a medical condition requiring her to have brain surgery. She had some sort of condition that affected the base of her brain pushing into her spine and the space not being large enough. I don't fully understand all the lingo or terms, so that is very elementary language. Anyway, this is a mother of 2 beautiful children who is also involved in dance ministry professionally. Some said she'd never dance again. None of us believe that report! Her surgery was successful, but she still has a road of recovery ahead of her.
I also have a friend whose son may be diagnosed as having autism. What a precious little man who has a facination with numbers and a love for life like no child I've ever seen. I know it's been hard on his parents not understanding and wanting to ask "why" but knowing that God makes everyone just the way He wants them. There is nothing wrong with this little guy - he just processes the world in a different way than we do and that's probably not a bad deal at all!
All that said, I'm feeling very mortal right now. Even among my kids bickering, milk spilling, bathtub splashing, and debating "why momma's" I know that I need to cherish every moment of it. It's hard, especially on days like today where all the kids have done is tattle, cry, and whine about doing homework. They've litterally spilled their milk all over the kitchen floor, pouted because I wouldn't do something they wanted RIGHT THEN, and then tattled some more. And yet, as a mom, I know they are mine for only a short time - and really they aren't mine. They are God's kids and I'm honored to be called Mom. That is a title I cherish and pray I uphold that name with honor.
Father God, please forgive me for not savoring every moment of this life you've given to me. Each and every day is a blessing as are the children you've given Dennis and me. Help me, Lord, honor you in serving my family more, loving them more, and criticizing less. Help me build their confidence and self image. Help me show them You. In Jesus name, Amen
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Long Overdue . . .
Yes, I'm long overdue for a post and with the things God has been showing me over the last few months, apparently I'm long overdue on some mental overhauling!
Ever since I had children, I honestly felt like I was the only one in our family making sacrifices. I gave up my favorite hobby - bowling, which I happened to be very good at. I gave up working (albeit, only for 2 years), but I gave it up. With that came, being alone all day with small children, no socialization, and NO money to go get out and do things. I gave up the vehicle I loved for one that was less expensive. As we worked to build our business, I gave up going to meetings so we could save money on childcare, I recently gave up a job I loved to support my husband. I, I, I, I, I . . . .
Because I felt like I was always the one giving things up, I also felt I was handing over my need to be needed. We all have a need to feel significant, important, and needed. Of course, my kids needed me, but I didn't feel like I was making a big contribuition to society. I knew I was important to my kids, but I didn't realize how vitally critical that was. God gave them to me to raise - they are really only mine to borrow for a short while and I was screwing up big time! Children are a gift from God and I knew that in my head, but I didn't get it deep down inside where it really counts.
I sound so selfish - and I am - was - - - well, I'm working on "was". God has really shown me over the last few months how truly selfish I am. I never thought of myself as a selfish person, but my inner heart has shown through over the years in ways that masked as depression and anger - all from the root of selfishness. In the current book I'm reading, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, it makes the comment that often God uses the mundane things in our lives to help teach us things. I never looked at it that way, but I can see it so clearly now. My depression and anger probably wouldn't have lasted as long if I had seen the silver lining in the gray cloud that constantly hung over me. Ah, but the light is now beginning to creep out! My struggle isn't over, I'm trying to find the proper balance between being selfless, yet still taking the time to take care of and occassionally pamper myself.
I'm sure many of you mom's have felt at least some of this battle. If not, I truly honor you. God is taking me on a journey to learn to honor Him in the mundane, so I can move on to different things. And if this is where He wants me, I am learning to be OK with right where I am. I strive to grow and learn and become a better person, a better mom, a better friend, a better wife, a better leader, but most of all I am striving to learn the lesson of selflessness right here where I am.
God, my heart is to honor you in everything I do whether it be laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, helping my husband, or doing homework with my kids. I realize that there is no insignificant task you have called us to do. The tasks may be different for different people, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to honor you by serving my family - as I feel they are the best family on the planet!
In Jesus' name, Amen!
Ever since I had children, I honestly felt like I was the only one in our family making sacrifices. I gave up my favorite hobby - bowling, which I happened to be very good at. I gave up working (albeit, only for 2 years), but I gave it up. With that came, being alone all day with small children, no socialization, and NO money to go get out and do things. I gave up the vehicle I loved for one that was less expensive. As we worked to build our business, I gave up going to meetings so we could save money on childcare, I recently gave up a job I loved to support my husband. I, I, I, I, I . . . .
Because I felt like I was always the one giving things up, I also felt I was handing over my need to be needed. We all have a need to feel significant, important, and needed. Of course, my kids needed me, but I didn't feel like I was making a big contribuition to society. I knew I was important to my kids, but I didn't realize how vitally critical that was. God gave them to me to raise - they are really only mine to borrow for a short while and I was screwing up big time! Children are a gift from God and I knew that in my head, but I didn't get it deep down inside where it really counts.
I sound so selfish - and I am - was - - - well, I'm working on "was". God has really shown me over the last few months how truly selfish I am. I never thought of myself as a selfish person, but my inner heart has shown through over the years in ways that masked as depression and anger - all from the root of selfishness. In the current book I'm reading, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith, it makes the comment that often God uses the mundane things in our lives to help teach us things. I never looked at it that way, but I can see it so clearly now. My depression and anger probably wouldn't have lasted as long if I had seen the silver lining in the gray cloud that constantly hung over me. Ah, but the light is now beginning to creep out! My struggle isn't over, I'm trying to find the proper balance between being selfless, yet still taking the time to take care of and occassionally pamper myself.
I'm sure many of you mom's have felt at least some of this battle. If not, I truly honor you. God is taking me on a journey to learn to honor Him in the mundane, so I can move on to different things. And if this is where He wants me, I am learning to be OK with right where I am. I strive to grow and learn and become a better person, a better mom, a better friend, a better wife, a better leader, but most of all I am striving to learn the lesson of selflessness right here where I am.
God, my heart is to honor you in everything I do whether it be laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, helping my husband, or doing homework with my kids. I realize that there is no insignificant task you have called us to do. The tasks may be different for different people, but I'm grateful for the opportunity to honor you by serving my family - as I feel they are the best family on the planet!
In Jesus' name, Amen!
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Favor
What an exciting week it's been . . . we received a phone call from Batteries Plus Corporate Headquarters and they decided to spotlight our store for the August going back to school promotion! We are (for the month) on the front page of the Batteries Plus website. Glad we're in a college town! Thank you God for favor!
Over the last couple of weeks we've had some amazing days with tons of customers and some disappointing days with hardly anyone. Dennis is busy going after commercial customers, so that the days that are slow with retail traffic, still turn out good in the check register at the end of the day. The good news is that it averages out and according to the schedule we should be on, we are ahead of the game. Thank you God for favor!
Dennis just called me and said that according to the National rankings for stores open less than 1 year - out of 33 stores, we were ranked number 31 for the month of June. Doesn't sound too good, but we were only open 8 days the month of June! Hey, we weren't last! Thank you God for favor!
I'm reading a book right now called Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado. It's amazing, the books our book club keeps choosing and how perfectly timed they are to what we are each needing to hear. Fantastic book, I highly recommed it! God knows all my needs and when I'm ready to stretch, He does that too. Thank you God for favor!
Over the last couple of weeks we've had some amazing days with tons of customers and some disappointing days with hardly anyone. Dennis is busy going after commercial customers, so that the days that are slow with retail traffic, still turn out good in the check register at the end of the day. The good news is that it averages out and according to the schedule we should be on, we are ahead of the game. Thank you God for favor!
Dennis just called me and said that according to the National rankings for stores open less than 1 year - out of 33 stores, we were ranked number 31 for the month of June. Doesn't sound too good, but we were only open 8 days the month of June! Hey, we weren't last! Thank you God for favor!
I'm reading a book right now called Facing Your Giants by Max Lucado. It's amazing, the books our book club keeps choosing and how perfectly timed they are to what we are each needing to hear. Fantastic book, I highly recommed it! God knows all my needs and when I'm ready to stretch, He does that too. Thank you God for favor!
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Thought Dump
Nothing major to say, just alone at the Batteries Plus store and my thoughts are running rampant with no rhyme or reason, so I thought I'd journal them to help me process.
My lady friends and I had our monthly book club meeting on Monday to discuss, Believing God, by Beth Moore. It was a great meeting. I didn't say much, but did lots of listening - just one of those nights. One of the ladies really challenged me with her current situation and what she believes God is calling her to do. She feels silly - kind of like Noah did when he started building the ark - but is taking a leap of faith, for that I truly respect her and give her honor!
The store has been open for almost 2 weeks and things have been a little slow - mostly due to the rain. People don't like to get out in the rain and I can't say that I blame them! I'm getting the hang of all the paperwork and the computer system we use. That was my biggest concern, but that's pretty much gone. Now we just need the floodgates holding the consumers back to open and flow that river our way. The customers we have had are excited we are here and are wishing us the best. Our advertising started early - last night from what people are saying. We had 2 people come in this morning and 1 phone call that came from the tv commercial - YEEHAW!!
I'm missing my best friend. . . we've both been so busy we haven't really been able to connect. I'm glad for our scrapbook group as we both lead it so it requires that we be there. Back in December I went on a cruise to Cozumel and picked up 2 trinkets - 1 that looked like Marlin and 1 that looked like Dory (from Finding Nemo). I've placed my Marlin up on the counter by the computer so I see it every day! For those of you who don't know why I did this, see my very first post - it'll make sense.
My neice is moving back home to the Spring area and my 3 year old daughter found out today and is extremely sad. Kristin has been at Jack & Jill Preschool for the past 2 1/2 years and was Rachel's teacher all this past year. I received a text message from Kristin this morning that Rachel was sad and hadn't left Kristin's side. That breaks my heart for Rachel, but I know she'll be ok and Kristin is doing what she feels led to do. Her Aunt Lara will miss her! She is an amazing teacher and my kids think she's a pretty cool cousin.
I'm feeling a little sentimental and sappy, which REALLY isn't like me. I guess that's what happens when I'm left alone! Maybe I just need to go shopping!
My lady friends and I had our monthly book club meeting on Monday to discuss, Believing God, by Beth Moore. It was a great meeting. I didn't say much, but did lots of listening - just one of those nights. One of the ladies really challenged me with her current situation and what she believes God is calling her to do. She feels silly - kind of like Noah did when he started building the ark - but is taking a leap of faith, for that I truly respect her and give her honor!
The store has been open for almost 2 weeks and things have been a little slow - mostly due to the rain. People don't like to get out in the rain and I can't say that I blame them! I'm getting the hang of all the paperwork and the computer system we use. That was my biggest concern, but that's pretty much gone. Now we just need the floodgates holding the consumers back to open and flow that river our way. The customers we have had are excited we are here and are wishing us the best. Our advertising started early - last night from what people are saying. We had 2 people come in this morning and 1 phone call that came from the tv commercial - YEEHAW!!
I'm missing my best friend. . . we've both been so busy we haven't really been able to connect. I'm glad for our scrapbook group as we both lead it so it requires that we be there. Back in December I went on a cruise to Cozumel and picked up 2 trinkets - 1 that looked like Marlin and 1 that looked like Dory (from Finding Nemo). I've placed my Marlin up on the counter by the computer so I see it every day! For those of you who don't know why I did this, see my very first post - it'll make sense.
My neice is moving back home to the Spring area and my 3 year old daughter found out today and is extremely sad. Kristin has been at Jack & Jill Preschool for the past 2 1/2 years and was Rachel's teacher all this past year. I received a text message from Kristin this morning that Rachel was sad and hadn't left Kristin's side. That breaks my heart for Rachel, but I know she'll be ok and Kristin is doing what she feels led to do. Her Aunt Lara will miss her! She is an amazing teacher and my kids think she's a pretty cool cousin.
I'm feeling a little sentimental and sappy, which REALLY isn't like me. I guess that's what happens when I'm left alone! Maybe I just need to go shopping!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Do I Really Believe God?
I found myself doubting God last night. It's so hard when you want something so badly, but fear never getting it. Dennis and I have been fighting financial struggles for years; that's no secret to anyone that knows us well. We have been blessed with beautiful children, a healthy family, a house over our heads and vehicles that run, so please don't think I'm whining or complaining. This is about my personal struggle with trust.
God showed me a few months ago that I don't really trust Him. That could very well be why we face the financial struggles we do. So, now that Dennis and I are starting a new venture to help us climb out of the pit of debt, doubt is once again attempting to settle in.
I've been reading the Beth Moore book, Believing God and it is amazing! Also, it is apparently what I need right at this very moment. I found myself talking to aloud to boost my faith stating that I believe God can do what He says He can do . . . for me. That's the kicker - I believe it, but do I believe it for myself? I'm working on it! I am bound and determined to fix this mindset so my family can quite going in circles in the desert and cross over to the promised land. It's time for the harvest we've been preparing for!
Lord, I confess that I believe You can do what You say you can do for ME. I thank you for loving me and leading me on this path to learn to place all my trust in You. For You are Jehovah Jireh, my provider!
God showed me a few months ago that I don't really trust Him. That could very well be why we face the financial struggles we do. So, now that Dennis and I are starting a new venture to help us climb out of the pit of debt, doubt is once again attempting to settle in.
I've been reading the Beth Moore book, Believing God and it is amazing! Also, it is apparently what I need right at this very moment. I found myself talking to aloud to boost my faith stating that I believe God can do what He says He can do . . . for me. That's the kicker - I believe it, but do I believe it for myself? I'm working on it! I am bound and determined to fix this mindset so my family can quite going in circles in the desert and cross over to the promised land. It's time for the harvest we've been preparing for!
Lord, I confess that I believe You can do what You say you can do for ME. I thank you for loving me and leading me on this path to learn to place all my trust in You. For You are Jehovah Jireh, my provider!
Sunday, June 10, 2007
A Day in the Life of a Battery Store . . .
Saturday I spent my 1st and only training day in a Batteries Plus store up here in Waukesha, WI. A couple of times I had that deer in the headlights look and had to ask for help, other times I think I knew more than one of the guys that was supposed to be training me! It was mildly reassuring that he didn't always have the answers either. One of the men doing the training couldn't lift more than 10 pounds due to a surgery he had just had on his eye and he was having trouble seeing as well - so he had me doing all of his big battery lifting and watch battery changing for him. You should have seen the look on the customer's faces when he brought me out to get their boat and car batteries for them! It was pretty humorous!
I can't say I'm an expert at this point, but I do know a heckuva lot more than I did when I started. I saw some poor customer service while I was in the store, so I made mental notes of what not to do's and some what to do's. I think if customer service is over-the-top then maybe there will be grace when it takes me a little bit to figure out their exact needs. I was proud of myself - Saturday's in store training was the thing I was most scared of doing and I made it through. I told Dennis it made me want to go out and order a pizza and a pitcher of beer to celebrate! (I ended up going out for Mexican and had a burrito and a glass of water with lemon.)
All in all it's been good - scary, stretch myself, out ot the box good. I'm ready to be home and see my kiddos and Dennis. Only 4 more days left and I'll be back to the hot, humid Texas summer. Today some friends and I drove to downtown Milwaukee to see the sights. We ended up going for a long walk along Lake Michigan. It was sunny, 75 degrees, and breezy. The park we were at was beautiful and at one point we just lay down in the grass with our eyes closed and soaked in the sun. It was pretty cool - very relaxing. There were sailboats out on the water and people walking their dogs. Family picnics and roller blading. Bike riding and sun tanning.
Fun stuff!
I can't say I'm an expert at this point, but I do know a heckuva lot more than I did when I started. I saw some poor customer service while I was in the store, so I made mental notes of what not to do's and some what to do's. I think if customer service is over-the-top then maybe there will be grace when it takes me a little bit to figure out their exact needs. I was proud of myself - Saturday's in store training was the thing I was most scared of doing and I made it through. I told Dennis it made me want to go out and order a pizza and a pitcher of beer to celebrate! (I ended up going out for Mexican and had a burrito and a glass of water with lemon.)
All in all it's been good - scary, stretch myself, out ot the box good. I'm ready to be home and see my kiddos and Dennis. Only 4 more days left and I'll be back to the hot, humid Texas summer. Today some friends and I drove to downtown Milwaukee to see the sights. We ended up going for a long walk along Lake Michigan. It was sunny, 75 degrees, and breezy. The park we were at was beautiful and at one point we just lay down in the grass with our eyes closed and soaked in the sun. It was pretty cool - very relaxing. There were sailboats out on the water and people walking their dogs. Family picnics and roller blading. Bike riding and sun tanning.
Fun stuff!
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
A Fish Out Of Water
Wow! I've spent 2 days in Milwaukee starting my 2-week training in product knowledge for our new Batteries Plus Franchise . . . and boy am I a fish out of water. Somehow I ended up in a class where 1 lady has a photographic memory, 1 guy has a patent on a pump that is used in certain car batteries, 1 physicist, and 1 guy that has 2 degrees - 1 in chemical engineering and 1 in electrical engineering. I'm the teacher/preschool director gone battery guru wanna be! Sometimes I just have to ask God, "what in the world are You doing!?" And then I smile, knowing that where I am weak, He is strong and knowing that I believe with everything in me that I am supposed to be doing this for and with my man. God truly works in mysterious ways! This adventure isn't about how much I know about batteries, it's about being in unity with my husband and with our calling as kings in the church. So, onward I go!
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