Well, I've contacted a potential illustrator and handed my children's book off to a friend for editting to get it in the best possible shape to submit to potential publishers. In the back of my head I hear the enemy telling me I'm stupid to think this could really get published, but I know God has told me to move forward with this project and to continue writing.
I learned in Bible study the other day that the enemy tears you down in genralities, but that the Lord will correct you and encourage you in specific ways. If you are ever wondering if it's God or the enemy, think about how specific or general the thought or comment is.
I know I'm not stupid to reach for a goal - it may never come to fruition, but I have to do my part and leave the rest in God's hands. I continue to walk forward hoping to hear more from my God and hope that He will trust me with more revelation from Him.
Lead me on, Lord - I am trying to follow the best I know how. . .
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Answers
I love it when God speaks through my kiddos! Two posts ago I wrote about wandering and not knowing what to do about my next book. Well, I wrote (quite awhile ago) a children's story that has been sitting in my computer and at the back of my mind. Yesterday afternoon, out of the blue, Caleb says, "Mama, when are you going to get that book, ___________________ published?" (I'm keeping the title secret for now). It was the children's story I had written. So, I am taking that as a sign from God that publishing that bad boy is my next project. The Children's Book industry is said to be pretty brutal and tough to get into so I am doing some beginning research trying to figure out what direction to go. I am praying for wisdom and favor for this project as I am lost as a mud duck! Thank you God for speaking and I am believing for cool things to come from this project.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Apologies
Have you ever had to apologize for something that you really didn't feel you owed an apology for? That may sound weird, but I remember growing up my dad telling me about "guilt by association." That pretty much meant if I chose to hang with a crowd that was doing wrong - even if I chose not to participate in whatever it was they were doing - that I was guilty just the same. There was one time I remember having to apologize for just being with the wrong people at the wrong time even though I hadn't done what the rest of the crowd was doing. I pretty much decided from that point on I was not going to make that mistake again. It was hard to apologize, but it made a distinct impression I haven't forgotten.
So, you might wonder, what it is I've done (or not done) that I am now aplogizing for. Well, it wasn't for hanging with the wrong crowd or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This time it is for words I spoke that were misunderstood and taken completely wrong. The person on the receiving end of my words interrupted a sentence and then took what I said out of context. She then proceeded to verbally tear me apart and pretty much tell me how bad I suck. Not exactly what every person wants to hear!
This conversation has been bothering me for over a week. I've been hurt. I'm angry. I pretty much want to rip this person's head off and then use it as a soccer ball. . . . . but then that wouldn't be the Christ like thing to do now, would it? ;)
Instead, God had me write this person a letter today apologizing for my lack of communication skills and for hurting her feelings. Did I say anything wrong in our initial conversation? I honestly don't think so. However, God has lead me to write this letter and I am trusting it will heal the unintended wound I gave this person. In turn, I am also trusting that God will use this process to heal my hurt heart so I don't hold a grudge against this person. I'm pretty good at carrying a grudge. Sometimes I can carry it so long, I forget why I have the grudge. Now that's BAD! I don't mean to carry the grudges around. I honestly try to let most of it roll off my shoulders, but what really ends up happening is I usually brush it under the rug, but the problem is that it (whatever it is) is still really there. It's just hiding under the surface waiting to be released at the next deep cleaning.
I know if I hadn't addressed the issue that I had with this person, the dirt under the rug would have come out again later on down the road. Ignoring an issue is sometimes an ok way to deal with things. Other times, the issue needs to be addressed so we can move forward.
So today, I apologized to someone who has hurt me deeply. Will this person accept the apology? I don't know. That's between her and God now. I've done my part and pray that God will continue healing my hurt and allow my act of forgiveness to become a true feeling of forgiveness. Right now my forgiveness is a verbal choice with no emotion involved what so ever.
Faithin' it 'til I make it!
Lara
So, you might wonder, what it is I've done (or not done) that I am now aplogizing for. Well, it wasn't for hanging with the wrong crowd or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. This time it is for words I spoke that were misunderstood and taken completely wrong. The person on the receiving end of my words interrupted a sentence and then took what I said out of context. She then proceeded to verbally tear me apart and pretty much tell me how bad I suck. Not exactly what every person wants to hear!
This conversation has been bothering me for over a week. I've been hurt. I'm angry. I pretty much want to rip this person's head off and then use it as a soccer ball. . . . . but then that wouldn't be the Christ like thing to do now, would it? ;)
Instead, God had me write this person a letter today apologizing for my lack of communication skills and for hurting her feelings. Did I say anything wrong in our initial conversation? I honestly don't think so. However, God has lead me to write this letter and I am trusting it will heal the unintended wound I gave this person. In turn, I am also trusting that God will use this process to heal my hurt heart so I don't hold a grudge against this person. I'm pretty good at carrying a grudge. Sometimes I can carry it so long, I forget why I have the grudge. Now that's BAD! I don't mean to carry the grudges around. I honestly try to let most of it roll off my shoulders, but what really ends up happening is I usually brush it under the rug, but the problem is that it (whatever it is) is still really there. It's just hiding under the surface waiting to be released at the next deep cleaning.
I know if I hadn't addressed the issue that I had with this person, the dirt under the rug would have come out again later on down the road. Ignoring an issue is sometimes an ok way to deal with things. Other times, the issue needs to be addressed so we can move forward.
So today, I apologized to someone who has hurt me deeply. Will this person accept the apology? I don't know. That's between her and God now. I've done my part and pray that God will continue healing my hurt and allow my act of forgiveness to become a true feeling of forgiveness. Right now my forgiveness is a verbal choice with no emotion involved what so ever.
Faithin' it 'til I make it!
Lara
Wandering . . . .
I know I am supposed to write another book. But, just like God, He isn't working in me the same way twice. I am having the hardest time pulling my thoughts together! I think I have a topic and then I start writing only to find myself "wandering off" in a different direction. So, then I think, hmmmmm, maybe I'm supposed to write about _____________. So I give that a shot and then end up wandering again.
I sure hope all this wandering on the pages comes together in some orderly fashion! I feel like the Israelites wandering through the dessert. I know the Promised Land is just over the hill, but instead I keep going in circles like a dog chasing its tail!
What to do . . . . What to do!
I sure hope all this wandering on the pages comes together in some orderly fashion! I feel like the Israelites wandering through the dessert. I know the Promised Land is just over the hill, but instead I keep going in circles like a dog chasing its tail!
What to do . . . . What to do!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Our New Normal . . . . .
What is normal? It is so many different things to different people. Have you ever been over to someone's house for dinner and they are eating something you've never even dreamed of purchasing at the store, much less cooking into a meal? Or maybe they made something you are familiar with, but when you cook it, you do it just slightly different. What is a normal way of cooking a specific dish or what is normal food to one person, may be completely abnormal to another.
My version of normal in my home is - send the kids to school, go to work, come home to be with the kiddos in the afternoon, work out a couple days a week, Lifegroup ever other week, an occassional sporting event, church every Sunday, dinner as a family every night . . . .
Well, my normal has been interrupted and now, in the midst of all that we are checking blood sugar levels, counting carbs, calculating insulin dosages, and switching out some of our "normal" foods with our "new normal" foods, and praying with all the belief we can muster that God is going to perform a miracle so we can go back to our "old normal."
I am a blessed woman. I have a husband who loves me and three beautiful children, who despite their incessant bickering, are really good kids. My oldest loves to read and play basketball. My youngest is a fireball who keeps us laughing and not taking life too seriously. And my son (who falls in the middle) loves God's creation and enjoys making his own creations, or as he calls them, "projects." I wonder when God created the world if He considered it a project? I guess we humans are a constant project being worked on, aren't we?!
Well, I think our "new normal" is a reflection of a project God is working on in the Norris household. I'm not sure exactly what the lesson of this project is, but I am hoping we all learn it, and learn it quickly. I don't want to have to round any more "tragedy" mountains in order to be able to say, "lesson learned!"
God, I'm trusting You to speak clearly to me. I'm working dilligently to be still and hear your voice. I know it's sad that I have to work on being still, but it's how you made me, so I'm learning that one constantly! My efforts to help Caleb are in vain if You aren't involved, leading the way. Let us all, especially Caleb, see Your mighty hand in all of this, knowing that "everything works together for good for those who love the Lord. "
My version of normal in my home is - send the kids to school, go to work, come home to be with the kiddos in the afternoon, work out a couple days a week, Lifegroup ever other week, an occassional sporting event, church every Sunday, dinner as a family every night . . . .
Well, my normal has been interrupted and now, in the midst of all that we are checking blood sugar levels, counting carbs, calculating insulin dosages, and switching out some of our "normal" foods with our "new normal" foods, and praying with all the belief we can muster that God is going to perform a miracle so we can go back to our "old normal."
I am a blessed woman. I have a husband who loves me and three beautiful children, who despite their incessant bickering, are really good kids. My oldest loves to read and play basketball. My youngest is a fireball who keeps us laughing and not taking life too seriously. And my son (who falls in the middle) loves God's creation and enjoys making his own creations, or as he calls them, "projects." I wonder when God created the world if He considered it a project? I guess we humans are a constant project being worked on, aren't we?!
Well, I think our "new normal" is a reflection of a project God is working on in the Norris household. I'm not sure exactly what the lesson of this project is, but I am hoping we all learn it, and learn it quickly. I don't want to have to round any more "tragedy" mountains in order to be able to say, "lesson learned!"
God, I'm trusting You to speak clearly to me. I'm working dilligently to be still and hear your voice. I know it's sad that I have to work on being still, but it's how you made me, so I'm learning that one constantly! My efforts to help Caleb are in vain if You aren't involved, leading the way. Let us all, especially Caleb, see Your mighty hand in all of this, knowing that "everything works together for good for those who love the Lord. "
Friday, February 4, 2011
To Lara, Love God . . . . .
God gave me this scripture during a week of fasting regarding my place in the Children's Ministry. I felt He was telling me to hold on - it was all going to be ok, and not to give up. Little did I know that less than a week later it would mean even so much more.
On Monday, January 31st, 2011, my dear son, Caleb was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. On Thursday, February 3rd, God reminded me of what He had showed me just a week prior. This is His love note to me . . . .
"I remember it all -oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope;
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great Your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionatley waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for HOPE to appear!" Lamentations 3:20-30
Lord, I am waiting for hope and I won't question Your sovereignty. I am believing for a miraculous healing in Caleb. War has been waged on my family by the enemy, but we won't back down. We are on the offensive, with You leading the march. Our heads are held high with our hope safely in Your hands.
On Monday, January 31st, 2011, my dear son, Caleb was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. On Thursday, February 3rd, God reminded me of what He had showed me just a week prior. This is His love note to me . . . .
"I remember it all -oh, how well I remember - the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope;
God's loyal love couldn't have run out, His merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every morning. How great Your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I've got left.
God proves to be good to the man who passionatley waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It's a good thing when you're young to stick it out through the hard times.
When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions: Wait for HOPE to appear!" Lamentations 3:20-30
Lord, I am waiting for hope and I won't question Your sovereignty. I am believing for a miraculous healing in Caleb. War has been waged on my family by the enemy, but we won't back down. We are on the offensive, with You leading the march. Our heads are held high with our hope safely in Your hands.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
I take it back . . . .
I take it all back - my complaining of the 3 weeks in a row with sick kids. I take it ALL back. Our family was hit with a landmine yesterday-the diagnosis of Caleb with Type 1 Diabetes. He's 10. God, did you hear me? He's only 10-no kid should have to deal with this! I have all these emotions raging through me - fear, rage, worry - you name it, I'm feelin' it right now. Most of the words I want to say would be inappropriate, but I'm sure everyone has thought of a few choice words now and then. Surely I'm not alone!
So, let me backtrack. . . About 3 weeks ago when Caleb was sick, he had a virus. No flu; no strep; just a virus. He's been over it - no big deal. Well, the past 4 or 5 days Caleb has had excessive thirst. I didn't think a thing of it at first, but one night this past weekend I was reminded of a conversation about a toddler at the preschool I used to work for, who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was suddenly excessively thirsty. My heart sank. I told Dennis that night we needed to get Caleb seen by a doctor. I didn't realize I should have probably done it immediately, but God's grace was sufficient and yesterday at 2:00 we were seen by our family practitioner.
Caleb did a "pee in the cup" test - which by the way he thought was hilarious! He'd never peed in a cup before. The results showed up with a lot of sugar in his urine, so then they did the finger poke. The result was "HI" which according to the meter means over 600. A normal level for sugars is 90-150 . . . Caleb was off the chart. The doctor looked at me and said, "this is not good." I knew. I knew before I took him in. God knew - that's why He reminded me of that conversation about my friend's child.
Based on the conversations I've had with the doctors, Caleb should have been in the Emergency Room. His numbers were off the charts, but he was remarkably well for as bad a shape as he was in. But, instead of the ER, favor abounded and we immediately headed to an endocrynologist who worked us into their schedule. They were fabulous! Both the doctor and nurse were Type 1 and had learned to deal with this since the 80's. We were handed glucose meters, needles, 2 different types of insulin shots, brochures . . . my head was spinning, Caleb was crying. It was awful, but through the awfulness, God's grace abounds!
When people say your life can change in an instant - they are right. I knew this, but having experienced, gives me a whole new perspective on situations my friends have gone through. I walked around in circles this morning trying to figure out what to do with myself. I'd gotten almost no sleep. The girls needed to get ready for school. Was I going to work or staying home? What to wear? Is Caleb going to school or are we going to monitor him? A cold front coming through, does everyone have jackets? Dennis is needing to get the truck to work for deliveries. Did the kids get their vitamins? Is Caleb ok? What's his blood sugar? Can he eat this? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
My stomach still turns when I look at Caleb and see hurt in his eyes. He does NOT want this. He's old enough to know how life was before, but not quite old enough to heave a big sigh and just move on. As his doctor says, "shots suck!" I feel the same way - this really sucks!
However, as bad as this sucks, I know it could be worse. I have a dear friend who lost her daughter to a virus that attacked her heart. I have another friend whose daughter had a brain tumor. She's survived, but she will never be the same as she was before. I am reminding myself to count my blessings, as they are many. My son is a blessing and I am grateful he is still here with us. We walk on a little bruised, but we are not defeated. We raise our eyes to the One who knows exactly how we feel and reach for His hand as we move forward.
So, let me backtrack. . . About 3 weeks ago when Caleb was sick, he had a virus. No flu; no strep; just a virus. He's been over it - no big deal. Well, the past 4 or 5 days Caleb has had excessive thirst. I didn't think a thing of it at first, but one night this past weekend I was reminded of a conversation about a toddler at the preschool I used to work for, who was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She was suddenly excessively thirsty. My heart sank. I told Dennis that night we needed to get Caleb seen by a doctor. I didn't realize I should have probably done it immediately, but God's grace was sufficient and yesterday at 2:00 we were seen by our family practitioner.
Caleb did a "pee in the cup" test - which by the way he thought was hilarious! He'd never peed in a cup before. The results showed up with a lot of sugar in his urine, so then they did the finger poke. The result was "HI" which according to the meter means over 600. A normal level for sugars is 90-150 . . . Caleb was off the chart. The doctor looked at me and said, "this is not good." I knew. I knew before I took him in. God knew - that's why He reminded me of that conversation about my friend's child.
Based on the conversations I've had with the doctors, Caleb should have been in the Emergency Room. His numbers were off the charts, but he was remarkably well for as bad a shape as he was in. But, instead of the ER, favor abounded and we immediately headed to an endocrynologist who worked us into their schedule. They were fabulous! Both the doctor and nurse were Type 1 and had learned to deal with this since the 80's. We were handed glucose meters, needles, 2 different types of insulin shots, brochures . . . my head was spinning, Caleb was crying. It was awful, but through the awfulness, God's grace abounds!
When people say your life can change in an instant - they are right. I knew this, but having experienced, gives me a whole new perspective on situations my friends have gone through. I walked around in circles this morning trying to figure out what to do with myself. I'd gotten almost no sleep. The girls needed to get ready for school. Was I going to work or staying home? What to wear? Is Caleb going to school or are we going to monitor him? A cold front coming through, does everyone have jackets? Dennis is needing to get the truck to work for deliveries. Did the kids get their vitamins? Is Caleb ok? What's his blood sugar? Can he eat this? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
My stomach still turns when I look at Caleb and see hurt in his eyes. He does NOT want this. He's old enough to know how life was before, but not quite old enough to heave a big sigh and just move on. As his doctor says, "shots suck!" I feel the same way - this really sucks!
However, as bad as this sucks, I know it could be worse. I have a dear friend who lost her daughter to a virus that attacked her heart. I have another friend whose daughter had a brain tumor. She's survived, but she will never be the same as she was before. I am reminding myself to count my blessings, as they are many. My son is a blessing and I am grateful he is still here with us. We walk on a little bruised, but we are not defeated. We raise our eyes to the One who knows exactly how we feel and reach for His hand as we move forward.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)