The Dance. . .

Well, I finally finished the book, In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. It has really caused me to reflect on my life. My successes, my failures, but most of all, my regrets. Mark Batterson states that most of the regrets people have are those of omission rather than of comission. In other words, most people regret having NOT done something rather than having done something they wish they hadn't. I think it's the "what if" factor in life. I think regrets of omission haunt us because we tend to wonder "what if". What if I had chased that lion, what if I hadn't stood on the sidelines, what if I hadn't been such a chicken, or so shy, or so prideful? What if. . .

As I looked back over the past 36 years of my life, I realized I really only have 1 regret of omission and it does still haunt me to this day. Maybe "haunt" is not the right word. Maybe it's God still whispering in my ear to go for it. Either way, the thoughts are still there.

As a kid I was extremely involved in gymnastics. I was competetive for 10 years. As most people know, dance is a huge portion of gymnastics and I enjoyed doing it. At the age of 15 I gave up the sport because of a back injury that forced me out of the whole deal. To this day I miss the discipline and freedom of expression that was involved in the sport.

Through the years since I quit, there have been dance teams at church that offer the opportunity for that expressiveness in dance to come out in the form of worship. As much as I wanted to pursue it, I was afraid looking silly. Dance in the church was a fairly new concept when the team was put together at the church I went to as a teenager. I guess I should say new to that church. David danced before the Lord before there even was a church! Anyway, my shyness and fear of criticism kept me from pursuing something that was still in my heart.

After marrying and moving to College Station, the church we went to didn't have a dance team, but occassionally there were certain conferences that would have an expressive dance portion as part of the itinerary. It was pretty much the same two ladies that always did it and I never asked about it because I was afraid of them thinking I was intruding on their territory. Both of those ladies have long since moved away and here I still sit. A few weeks ago, there was a dance/worship performace during a Sunday service. The team that danced was mostly kids ranging from 15 - 19. The leader/choreographer is 26 and she danced with them, but that still would make me the old geezer of the group.

It's so easy to make excuses - even rational ones. I'm too old, my back is bad, my knee is bad, I won't fit in with the teen scene, etc. I spoke with my husband about this today and he just smiled at me and asked me who I would be dancing for. I told him it would be for God. He continued to smile and let me know that all the rest of my excuses and fears didn't matter. Duh - I know that in my head. It's my heart that's still struggling.

So, tonight I am going to our monthly women's meeting and am praying for the courage to seek out the choreographer of our church's dance team. I want to speak to her and get this old body moving forward. Maybe I'll even have the opportunity to get it moving in circles, and lunges, and leaps, in worship.