Last weekend was the JDRF Gulfcoast chapter's walk for a cure. Our family participated for the first time ever and it was FREEZING! Rachel was trying hard to control her tears because she was so miserable. I kept telling her to remember we were there to support Caleb and there was to be no complaining. (I was actually reminding myself of this as well!) She never complained, only asked me to hold her to keep her warm as little tears rolled down those freckled cheeks. It can make for a long walk when you are trying to carry an almost 9 year old -glad she's petite!
There were TONS of people there, including our endocrinologist and his wife (our favorite nurse), Kelley. We walked and drank Coke Zeros and snacked on bananas while trying to warm up. The kids got their faces painted and got free tattoos -the sticker ones of course. We were complimented multiple times on our team t-shirts that nurse Kelley created. VIVA LA INSULINA!
After it was over and we were heading back to the car, Caleb walked up next to me and wrapped his arm around my waist and said, "thank you for bringing me to this." My heart melted and tears welled up in my eyes. I wasn't sure if Caleb even really understood why were there or what we were doing. He knew we were going to walk around and it had something to do with diabetes, but I wasn't sure he fully grasped why we were there and what we were doing. He did and it touched my heart. I cried because he fully understood. And I cried because I wished he didn't have to fully understand because Diabetes sucks. All in all, it was a good Saturday -emotional, but good. Sunday evening as I was about to shut down my computer and head to bed, I received a private FB message from my dear friend Lisa. She had found lump in her right breast and was scheduled for a biopsy in the morning. My heart sank. The doctor told her there was a slight chance it wasn't cancer. Not a very encouraging report. Sure, we believe God's report. Yes, we know He stopped at the whipping post for our healing before he headed to the cross. But there are no guarantees that we won't have to walk through some stuff before we get that healing. Thursday evening, we found out it is cancer. Cancer sucks, but it sucks even more when it shows up in someone you love. Once again, tears welled up in my eyes. Why?!?!? was all I could think. LIsa is one of the most giving people I have ever met. She's humble and quiet about her gifts, but they are overflowingly generous and she didn't deserve this battle. No one "deserves" the battle of cancer, but she really didn't deserve this battle. Know what I mean?
Now I'm mad. Breast cancer has attacked our Pastor's wife 3 times and she's still walking out the 3rd battle. Our church lost a precious lady to breast cancer just 2 weeks ago and who knows how many other women within our church walls (and outside too) are facing this tough battle. The enemy is on the prowl and I'm tired of it!
Friday and Saturday was our annual women's conference at church. Lisa was the leader on this project and handed the torch to some wonderful women who completely fulfilled Lisa's vision so Lisa could go be with her entire family and just spend time together before the fight begins. As I was sitting Friday night, being refreshed by a wonderful speaker, I received a text from another friend of mine who I noticed wasn't at the conference. She and her daughter were headed to Scott and White in Temple -Faith's blood sugar was over 500 and she wasn't doing well. My heart sank. Now I'm not just angry, I'm pissed!
I know all too well what that high blood sugar number means. When Caleb was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes almost two years ago it wasn't like the doctor said, "Well, his blood sugar is over 600 so it could be this or this or this." It was, "I'm sorry, Caleb has Type 1 Diabetes." There was no ambiguity or thoughts of what else might cause his blood sugar to be that high. His pancreas simply stopped working for whatever reason and now it was time for some insulin shots -forever barring a miracle. (Which, we are believing for!)
At this time, sweet Faith is still in the hospital with hopes of getting released on Monday. Her mom text me and was encouraged because she had seen our family walk through Caleb's diabetes together. Very humbling because we often feel we are muddling our way through. Muddle as we may, we do it together. Our family did make a consious choice to rally around Caleb and support him with an entirely new diet (gluten free - because gluten is bad for anyone with an autoimmune disease) and mostly grain free as well. Caleb is completely grain free except for special occassions like a birthday party as it helps us control his blood sugar better. It's still a roller coaster, but not near the roller coaster it was when he was eating rice and pasta and bread.
It's tough - Rebekah was teased at school the other day about her lunch. Seriously?!?! If you feel the need to pick on someone because of their lunch, you have a sorry existence. I told Rebekah to tell that girl to shut her pie hole. . . . . I have no patience for ignorance! Not very Christlike maybe, but then again, Jesus had no patience for ignorance either. I'm pretty sure He threw some temple tables! Maybe it's time I go throw some lunch tables!
It's expensive - When you eat hamburgers and hot dogs with no $1 per package buns, you can eat more meat and vegetables and fruit because the bread isn't there to fill you up. When everyone is eating more healthy, gluten free foods and less cheap mac & cheese, your food bill will skyrocket. When God really convicted me to lead my family down this mostly Paleo diet and gluten free always meals, I told Him that He was going to have to figure out how we were going to pay for it, because our budget just wasn't going to work with about a $400 per month increase. He honored that request. I don't know how we make it each month, but we do. God honored that becuase it's what He wants us to do.
The whole diabetes road is emotional. From blood sugar highs to blood sugar lows and then the weeks where things are almost perfect and you are praying it's because God is healing that pancreas and it's working -even if it's just a little bit.
Our family is standing with Faith and with Caleb. We have believed from day 1 that Caleb would be healed from this disease. We are believing that for Faith as well. My heart is sad for Faith that she has to walk this road, like it was sad for Caleb. But I know, our God is greater, our God is stronger, God You are higher than any other. Our God is healer. Awesome in power. Our God!!
So, to Pastor Janet, Pastor Lisa, Caleb, and Faith and all the other warriors walking through their battle I salute you. I am praying for you. Remember, the enemy has been defeated!
