Well, it's been awhile since I've picked up a book that has really challenged me. When I say "awhile" - I mean a couple of months. My daughter got me hooked on the Left Behind series again. She was reading them for school and wanted me to read along with her so if she had questions we could discuss it. By the way - I LOVE that! My oldest is 13 and she loves to discuss things with me. Not your typical teenager - I am a blessed woman!
Anyhoo - I've recently picked up the book Visioneering, by Andy Stanley and OMGoodness it is getting in my business. I've been in this mode recently of who am I and why am I here. This mentality has been with me for awhile and the longer I stay here, the more pitiful I feel. People like to be needed, useful, and feel like they are making a difference in their world. The last thing I want to do is simply go through the motions of existing. Do I think that's what I'm doing? No, not if I take a good look at where I am and what's going on in my world.
I help my husband run a successful business, I am raising 3 kids, recently I have become master chef in my house due to Caleb's Type 1 diabetes diagnosis. Our daily menu has changed dramatically and we don't just pick a box of mac & cheese off the shelf for dinner anymore. It is time consuming, waring, and a pain in my butt, never-the-less it has a definite purpose in helping keep my kiddo(s) and my husband and I healthy.
Why it is difficult for me to see vision and purpose in these tasks? I don't have any clue! I think God gives each of us things to do while we are here to prepare us. Prepare us for eternity and even greater things here on the planet. I'd like to think I'm in a preparation stage for something more. Sometimes I feel like I'm being ungrateful or selfish in wanting my life to be a bigger impact than doing the aforementioned things for my family. Then again, I know deep inside there is something more for me. I can't explain it - I just know it's there. And, at the appointed time, it (whatever "it" is) will have an opportunity to shine.
I learned in the book that I have to LOOK for opportunities. I wonder if I've missed some along the way because I wasn't really looking for new opportunities. Who knows, but I can't look back. I move forward with my eyes open and my heart in prayer, believing that God will show me what He has for me and when this time of preparation is through, He'll have me ready to take on whatever it is He has called me to do.
In the meantime, I move on with purpose, knowing that I am armor bearer to my husband and master chef, nutritionist, and mama to my kids. . . and THAT is important!
