My parents came over yesterday - they live in Nebraska, so when they come it's a big deal! 11 1/2 years ago my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. It was quite a blow for daddy's girl, but up until this point I've been pretty ok. The last couple of times I've seen my dad (6 months ago and yesterday) he just looks old, tired, and weak. Not the dad I remember playing frisbee with, shooting hoops in the driveway with, going fishing with, working crossword puzzles with. . . not the dad I remember. He was quick witted with a dry sense of humor - which is still there, but he struggles to get his thoughts out. I watched him yesterday struggle to sit straight up in a chair. He constantly leans to the left due to muscle deterioration. He doesn't have the tremors most people associate with Parkinson's. I think that was what I had mentally prepared for, but watching him shuffle his feet because he can't lift them, moving slowly for fear of falling (which he did yesterday - caught his toe on the carpet and fell face first in the hallway. I'm thankful he didn't hit his head.) watching him not be the man I know he is inside is tough!
I got online today to revisit some Parkinson's websites and they reminded me that people don't die because of Parkinson's they most commonly die due to falling, choking, or pneumonia. Not a vision I have for my dad.
What I am truly grateful for in all this is knowing that my dad loves God. I grew up with him being very anti-God and bitter due to past circumstances. Shortly after my oldest daughter was born, my dad gave his life to the Lord and spiritually I've watched him grow and flourish in a marriage that before was barely getting by.
It's so hard to see a silver lining when you are watching a loved one slowly deteriorate. I am so thankful for my dad, though. He is an amazing, present, actively involved dad that loves me and my kids unconditionally.
What an honor to be his daughter!
1 comment:
Praying for you.
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