Thick Skinned Not Hard Hearted

I had a conversation today with a friend about her attitude. It wasn't an easy conversation and it was one I wasn't looking forward to. (It wasn't Kimberly, so don't go speculating!) I realized during the conversation that sometimes the things we do for self-defense or self-preservation to protect ourselves from "bad situations, hurtful situations, etc", are often the things that end up destroying us. I watched my friend as I listened to her explain to me the hurts she had been experiencing and her response in the natural was to just pull away from the ones that were hurting her. Natural, I suppose. Spiritual, she thought. Because she knew her old nature was to "fight verbally" when she felt she was being attacked, criticized, gossipped about, etc., she chose to back away from people so not to react improperly. She felt she was doing everyone a favor. What was being perceived from her friends was that she was being distant and even rude at times - she was definitely not showing the love of Christ, although she was trying her hardest to do that.

I realized today that when we are in battle with the spiritual we can become so entangled in not doing the wrong thing, that we become the exact opposite of what we're trying to accomplish. It's strange and scary. We have to be "thick skinned" so as not to be offended by every person that disagrees with us, gossips about us, etc. Yet, in developing that thick skin, we have to be careful not to become "hard-hearted". My friend was trying to be thick skinned and all she was really doing was becoming bitter and hard hearted. The enemy was destroying her and the relationships in her life while what she was trying to do was preserve them. The good news is that God can restore and I believe He will. Remember, we are to bless those that curse us, not pull away from them.

Now, in saying all this, that doesn't mean we need to allow ourselves to camp in negativity all the time. We must surround ourselves with people that have goals and dreams and are "life givers" not "life suckers". What we need to not do is unknowingly become a "life sucker" because we've allowed ourselves to put walls up in order to preserve others from the ungodly things in our lives.